Believe in the magic of kindness

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Sometimes I Forget I have Lyme Disease...

Sometimes I forget that I have Lyme Disease ... I have been feeling really good. Energized and quite well. I had started exercising again, lost 5 pounds in a couple weeks. July is a busy month so I had lots going on, I spent the whole first week of July cooking and cleaning and getting organized for the baseball fundraiser and tournament. Then I hit a wall ... the evening of Saturday, July 9th I felt exhausted, I assumed it was because we had been very busy with the fundraiser and ball ...nothing a good nights sleep would not fix. 

Sunday morning I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a bus ... my body ached, I felt exhausted, not just over tired but exhaustion to the point that I can not function. I had stayed in bed a little later and still felt like I had not slept in days. As we prepared to head to the ball field, the headache set in, sharp pains here and there followed by a constant dull pain. I decided I needed to make it through the day. I took an Advil and prepared for the field. This is a feeling that is so hard to explain, there really appears to be nothing wrong with me except that I can barely muster the energy to walk to the car. It leaves me feeling lazy, and frustrated. At this point I was still thinking that I was just over tired. You see, I forget about Lyme Disease. 

Here it is Wednesday, July 13th and symptoms have popped up all over. My exhaustion is still there, the intensity comes and goes. My head ache is still there, the intensity comes and goes. For over a month now I have been dealing with hot flashes and cold flashes. I also have been dealing with tingling, numb hands and lack of focus. Monday while hanging laundry on the bars, I was unsure I was going to be able to life my arms, they felt like spaghetti, you know after you have worked out for hours and hours (I had not). In the past two days my left shoulder feels like someone punched me really hard. just sore. And yesterday my left lower back is suddenly super sore to the touch. It feels stiff and achy but also if I lean back in the chair or touch it at all it HURTS!!! Then yesterday while talking to Dan I found myself stumbling over words, this happened before, this scares me ... it feels strange that my brain and mouth can not get it together. I do pretty well with aches and pains but the idea of effects on my brain function really panics me. 

Okay, like I mentioned I forget about Lyme Disease, I am not sure why, maybe because I can feel good for a long time and then suddenly it hits ... I always feel like I am just complaining. I find myself trying to diagnose all that is going on ... then I realize that it all ties together. 

I am feeling quite lost in my treatment plan. I am not sure who to turn to or where to go ... I want answers. I want a treatment plan that I do not have to think about, that it all set in place for me. I want something that will make it all better.  I sometimes wonder why Lyme Disease does not feel real to me ... it feels like an excuse to me often. But my body tells me it sure feels like somethings, I wish I could make sense of it all. 

I have an appointment next week, I am going to once again talk to a doctor ... she is kind, she is not a specialist in Lyme Disease. We will see what she says...

Peace, love and kindness, Amy

1 comment:

  1. I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you, and I hope you're being kind and patient with yourself. From your perspective and experiences, when someone you love is dealing with Lyme, what's the best way to help?


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