Sometimes I Forget I have Lyme Disease...

Sometimes I forget that I have Lyme Disease ... I have been feeling really good. Energized and quite well. I had started exercising again, lost 5 pounds in a couple weeks. July is a busy month so I had lots going on, I spent the whole first week of July cooking and cleaning and getting organized for the baseball fundraiser and tournament. Then I hit a wall ... the evening of Saturday, July 9th I felt exhausted, I assumed it was because we had been very busy with the fundraiser and ball ...nothing a good nights sleep would not fix. 

Sunday morning I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a bus ... my body ached, I felt exhausted, not just over tired but exhaustion to the point that I can not function. I had stayed in bed a little later and still felt like I had not slept in days. As we prepared to head to the ball field, the headache set in, sharp pains here and there followed by a constant dull pain. I decided I needed to make it through the day. I took an Advil and prepared for the field. This is a feeling that is so hard to explain, there really appears to be nothing wrong with me except that I can barely muster the energy to walk to the car. It leaves me feeling lazy, and frustrated. At this point I was still thinking that I was just over tired. You see, I forget about Lyme Disease. 

Here it is Wednesday, July 13th and symptoms have popped up all over. My exhaustion is still there, the intensity comes and goes. My head ache is still there, the intensity comes and goes. For over a month now I have been dealing with hot flashes and cold flashes. I also have been dealing with tingling, numb hands and lack of focus. Monday while hanging laundry on the bars, I was unsure I was going to be able to life my arms, they felt like spaghetti, you know after you have worked out for hours and hours (I had not). In the past two days my left shoulder feels like someone punched me really hard. just sore. And yesterday my left lower back is suddenly super sore to the touch. It feels stiff and achy but also if I lean back in the chair or touch it at all it HURTS!!! Then yesterday while talking to Dan I found myself stumbling over words, this happened before, this scares me ... it feels strange that my brain and mouth can not get it together. I do pretty well with aches and pains but the idea of effects on my brain function really panics me. 

Okay, like I mentioned I forget about Lyme Disease, I am not sure why, maybe because I can feel good for a long time and then suddenly it hits ... I always feel like I am just complaining. I find myself trying to diagnose all that is going on ... then I realize that it all ties together. 

I am feeling quite lost in my treatment plan. I am not sure who to turn to or where to go ... I want answers. I want a treatment plan that I do not have to think about, that it all set in place for me. I want something that will make it all better.  I sometimes wonder why Lyme Disease does not feel real to me ... it feels like an excuse to me often. But my body tells me it sure feels like somethings, I wish I could make sense of it all. 

I have an appointment next week, I am going to once again talk to a doctor ... she is kind, she is not a specialist in Lyme Disease. We will see what she says...

Peace, love and kindness, Amy

Lyme Disease ... My Journal of Thoughts!

This is the beginning of my journal about my journey with Lyme Disease ... honestly I am not even sure where to start. But I feel the need to document my journey. Why here? Well, because I have read many peoples stories about their journeys and although they often share a common thread they each are different and sometimes I can relate and sometimes not so much! I do not wish to just complain, but probably will quite a bit ... BUT I do wish to share with others just in case they can relate to my journey. 

Here are a few things that I know today:

     1. LYME DISEASE SUCKS!!!
     2. I have no answers.
     3. There is a lot of information out there.
     4. There is not enough information out there. 
     5. There are MANY people out there that can relate to the above!

Okay, so this is the beginning of a journal for me ... I will welcome any thoughts, ideas, stories, links, etc... and I will share what I find. 

Peace, love and kindness, Amy

Window Sills

Tonight for some reason I was inspired to share with you about my window sills ... this is a little corner of my window sill in my kitchen ... please look beyond the dust, need for new paint and windows that need washing to the trinkets ... I LOVE window sills .. mine seem to always get filled with little treasure, each with a story or memory. 

Here you will see a toad stool made by Dan's mom, some polished rocks, which I find all over our house at times and set on different window sills! 

A little quail .. I can not remember when or exactly where I found it but it was at a lawn sale somewhere! I am not even sure what made me buy it but I have had it for quite some time and I always feel like it needs to be in areas where I spend a lot of time. In our moving around it has become lost many times and I never worry about it but am always happy when I find it! I have never really thought much about it until right now, as I type this post. 

(quick pause to do some research)

So with a little research I am seeing that a quail as a spirit animal has some meanings that I can see me wanting to keep around. Things such as living close to the Earth, protection, family, grounding, courage to face hardship, ability to blend in with he back ground, finding peaceful solutions to peril, etc... I like all these and now know more about why I like my little quail. 

Next to my little quail friend I have a candle (I have several of these on window sills around my house). This particular candle I think of as my strength candle, I have several on this window sill and most mornings I light them and think of all the people that I am sending strength to that day. Then through out the day when I see their flickering light, it reminds me of so many people who need extra thoughts sent their way!

My sills are filled with many trinkets ... rocks to candles to toys and often a cat basking in the sun! 

What is on your window sills?

Peace, love and kindness, 
Amy

A New Year - 2016 - What does it mean to you?

As I have scrolled through Facebook and blogs over the past few days I am seeing so many posts related to the new year. I have never been great at resolutions ... I tend to set myself up to fail with all the ideas of being 'better' and then I end up feeling worse in the end. 

So what is the New Year to you? For me it begins a new year (per say) BUT not really, as my new year starts on my birthday ... but how I am going to look at it (as I think others do) is a kind of reset button, a time when we can pause and say 'out with the old, in with the new'! In my opinion, I need more of these throughout the year! 

So I have been trying to think about all the things I wanted to better or change and there are so many and with each new post I read I think of more ... then I saw a comment about "One Little Word" and I thought this is it ... this is how I can grasp all the things that I want to do in the new year and I can customize it for me. Here is the idea:

"A single word can be a powerful thing. Each year since 2006, Ali has followed a tradition of choosing one word for herself each January - a word to focus on, to live with, to investigate, to write about, to craft with, and to reflect upon as she goes about her daily life. 

You're invited to join Ali in choosing your own One Little Word®."

So I have chosen my word and I encourage you (if it feels right) to chose a word. I am super excited about this, because I feel like I can handle this without failing. And even if I do fail from time to time, I can continue on and keep trying. The one things that I kept thinking about was giving to others, something that I feel like I have been on a journey to do for a few years now. But this does not always look like I would like it to, so I will continue to work on this BUT as a friend pointed out to me the word give can encompass so much more. And what I realized is that all of these things are truly worth working on ...  so here is a short list of how 'give' might look in my life this year!

Give to others
Give of your time
Give of your love
Give thanks
Give praise
Give to self
Give to your higher power
Give away (release) all the clutter of mind , heart & all the extra stuff we store in the basement, shed or garage
Give permission 

I also plan to help my family chose a word, something we can all work on together or maybe they will chose to share my word, we will see! 

I would love to hear about your hopes and dreams for 2016 ... I love to hear everyone's story! So feel free to share, encourage and give a little of yourself!

Peace, love and kindness,
Amy 

Where to Start?

So I have spent a couple days setting up my blog, AGAIN! Then yesterday I spent the day wondering where to start ... Once again, I am not 100% sure of my purpose of my blog. I like to share ideas, thoughts, etc... but also want to address some topics that may be fun to debate and see how others feel! I am hoping it will be fun for all! So stick with me ... I am working on it ... I figure most people are super busy right now anyways, so enjoy your family and stop back again. I WILL get my act together soon!

For today I will post this quote: As we shuffle around on our busy day, remember being kind is so very important.

Peace, Love and Kindness,
Amy

Here I am starting another blog ... I use to have a blog and loved it, for several years I wrote quite regularly on it. I liked it. I loved comments from my few faithful followers and although it was nothing special it was a place to put my thoughts, share recipes and ideas and sometimes have a debate. Over the past few years I did not make time for it ... and because I am a procrastinator, I lost all the files. Oh well, no big deal, like I said it was not anything that is not replaceable. 

So anyways, I am here today to say that I think I am going to give this a try, once again. I find myself composing posts in my head ... things I want to share, even if no one wants to listen! I have tried to use Facebook for this some but find that it is just not the right place. We will see how this all goes. I look forward to meeting some new friends and having some fun conversations.

I hope that this space will provide a safe, loving, peaceful place for people ... a place that hard topics and fun topics alike can be discussed without being unkind. 

Please stick with me while I figure this all out, I am sure there will be many changes, mistakes and such while I learn this system. But all in all I hope it is fun!

Peace, Love and Kindness,

Amy